Tag Archives: Choosing feelings

Appetites for darkness; befriending the shadow self.

Motivations, The Way of Peace, Thursday posts, , , , , ,

Tuesday afternoon at the library, instead of doing anything on [church obligations], I spent time with several articles that could have been predicted to make me angry. I’ve forgotten specifics about them, and Net History from the library terminal isn’t available to me here. The deal is, I recognized an appetite for darkness; “The Itch.” Similarly yesterday, yesterday morning, once I realized I really had nothing to do that day, I became intensely angry and prone to look for ways to act out that anger; e.g. by finding more such articles to fume over. Went through some more of the same last night, albeit presence in the shower saw it all go away.

All this in the face of my goal of being perpetually happy and cheerful and an emanator of light and joy.

Continue reading Appetites for darkness; befriending the shadow self. →

Self-management: A snippet

The Way of Peace, Thursday posts, , , , , , ,

It’s happened often enough lately that I may as well tell it.

When I go into the shower room at the shelter, often enough, unhappiness meets me.

The shower stall I prefer isn’t available, and I resent it.

This guy is taking up half the shower bench, and the other half is full also, and I resent it.

This other guy is taking up all kinds of too much time getting dressed, and I resent it.

As soon as I turn my attention to what I will actually do — where to put my clothes, choosing a stall that is available, and getting undressed in itself — all those bad feelings vanish.

Complaining means you’re not doing what you can.

Related:  Here – Now – Can

Originally posted 07/01/16.

“World’s happiest man” shares his secret

Get on your feet, Science, The Way of Peace, Thursday posts, , , , ,

A 69-year-old monk who scientists call the ‘world’s happiest man’ says the secret to being happy takes just 15 minutes per day

Another must-read.

This is actually a different approach to meditation than any I have ever used.  I may try it.

Enigmatically, happiness is no laughing matter.  Last week’s article suggested that your happiness is a key to success in life.  It is central to one’s functionality,  the ability to get things done, overcome obstacles, set wise goals and diligently pursue them.  Whether you believe in heaven or hell, wish to serve merely yourself, or instead wish to “serve” God, serve Jesus, or serve humanity — it’s essential to optimize your functionality, your effectiveness in life.

Fortunately, apparently, that can be fun!

Originally posted 2016-02-06.

“A Stanford scientist says a simple psychological shift can make you more successful”

Get on your feet, Science, The Way of Peace, Thursday posts, , , ,

A Stanford scientist says a simple psychological shift can make you more successful

The headline left me skeptical. A scientist tells about success?

The article proves to be all about self-love, and backs up everything I’ve said about that subject. It also speaks to the issues I face at this moment in dealing with my feelings and the way I treat myself.

I urge you to read it.

Related:
Chaos overwhelms the poor
A short route to agony
Life in the outer darkness
Self-comfort
Why racism no longer matters to me

Originally posted 2016-01-30.

In the forecast: Pain

Homelessness, The Way of Peace, Thursday posts, , , , , , ,

(Originally posted 2016-01-16.)

A toothache can distract you completely.

For the past two months, I have now and then, with increasing frequency and duration, had mild toothaches in (I thought) one upper left tooth and one lower left tooth. They always went away; and that’s all I thought of it.

Then last Thursday night there was such severe pain for such a long time, that I lost several hours’ sleep and resolved to get those two teeth filled the next day. But that didn’t happen. The dentist said four teeth must be extracted; and the appointments the clinic scheduled for me are two weeks and four weeks away.

This means: for the coming month, I am going to be in pain of varying severity for varying lengths of time.

It may not be much, now and then; it may be a lot, now and then, and for quite a while now and then. But it’s unavoidable. It’s coming.

How will I choose to feel about it?

Will I accept it, or react continually against it?

Will I hate myself for being in pain? or possibly hate others?  Hate God?

Will I be crying out, “Why me?”

Or may there be other options?

Related:  A short route to agony

From my diary:

Continue reading In the forecast: Pain →

Self-comfort

OUR BEST POSTS, The Way of Peace, Thursday posts, , , , , , , ,

I have suffered with obsessive-compulsive disorder and genetically-based clinical depression all my life.  I first became medicated for these conditions, with SSRIs, in 1991, and the improvement was so drastic I never wanted to be without those medications again.

On or about December 6, 2015, however, it seemed as if they abruptly became ineffective.  I was not in a position to find a medical doctor competent to change them.  So, on the one hand, I’ve lived with clinical depression from then till now and continuing.  On the other hand, a positive is that in this state I’ve obtained certain insights that I never could have “seen” any other way.

One insight in particular would have changed my entire course in life, had I only learned it as a child.

It occurred in four steps.  The blue block quotes below are excerpts from my diary.  However, I recall that C.S. Lewis referred to diary-keeping as a “time-wasting and foolish practice;” that a diary is, “even for autobiographical purposes,” far less useful than one might suppose.  As to the first two steps below, I lost a good deal of time and effort searching for diary passages that didn’t exist.

In mid-December 2015 …

Continue reading Self-comfort →

Self-management in the face of depression

Get on your feet, The Way of Peace, Thursday posts, , , , , ,

I am extremely depressed this morning.  This may be a “monthly.”  I find myself hyper-self-critical; ready to take anything someone may say the wrong way; ready to snap.

I’m dealing with various issues in various places that may help explain it, but as opposed to engaging in excuses or blame, I need to deal with what is.

I was in Dunkin’ Donuts at 9:00 and chose to check the library schedule for this week; to chart out what days I would go to the library and what other days I would go to church.

Continue reading Self-management in the face of depression →

“Seeing red” is real. But how does it happen?

Justice, Science, Thursday posts, , ,

The scientific reason your world brightens up when you do

This study affirms some common observations about color perceptions and emotional states. When one is enraged, the color red appears more vivid in one’s perceptions; when depressed, the color blue. When one feels elated, all colors appear brighter, and in times of severe depression color perception can all but disappear; the world looks black and white.  Or, perhaps, bleak and white.

The study attempts, and IMO fails, to attribute these things to the activity of neurotransmitters such as dopamine.  But there is no finding of direct action by such neurotransmitters on the color-perceiving apparatus of the visual cortex.

Continue reading “Seeing red” is real. But how does it happen? →