Chromosomes, not pronouns
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(Originally posted 2016-01-16.)
A toothache can distract you completely.
For the past two months, I have now and then, with increasing frequency and duration, had mild toothaches in (I thought) one upper left tooth and one lower left tooth. They always went away; and that’s all I thought of it.
Then last Thursday night there was such severe pain for such a long time, that I lost several hours’ sleep and resolved to get those two teeth filled the next day. But that didn’t happen. The dentist said four teeth must be extracted; and the appointments the clinic scheduled for me are two weeks and four weeks away.
This means: for the coming month, I am going to be in pain of varying severity for varying lengths of time.
It may not be much, now and then; it may be a lot, now and then, and for quite a while now and then. But it’s unavoidable. It’s coming.
How will I choose to feel about it?
Will I accept it, or react continually against it?
Will I hate myself for being in pain? or possibly hate others? Hate God?
Will I be crying out, “Why me?”
Or may there be other options?
Related: A short route to agony
From my diary:
The scientific reason your world brightens up when you do
This study affirms some common observations about color perceptions and emotional states. When one is enraged, the color red appears more vivid in one’s perceptions; when depressed, the color blue. When one feels elated, all colors appear brighter, and in times of severe depression color perception can all but disappear; the world looks black and white. Or, perhaps, bleak and white.
The study attempts, and IMO fails, to attribute these things to the activity of neurotransmitters such as dopamine. But there is no finding of direct action by such neurotransmitters on the color-perceiving apparatus of the visual cortex.
Continue reading “Seeing red” is real. But how does it happen?
Some generations are just more religious than others, some less. The worldwide indifference of millennials towards faith may not spell the end of religion; it may just represent the influx of a large group of souls who happen, as a group, to be less religious than others.
This, along with the prospect of a forthcoming post about auras, recalled to me the supposed influx of another cohort of souls: the indigo children.
This may seem unrealistic, even delusional; and much of the time, it has felt that way to me. But I’ve been here before, and know it’s not unrealistic at all. One drawback: it will pull me even farther away from the societal mainstream. But if I feel a “call” toward anything at all, it’s this path that I feel called to.
And seeking courage.
Originally posted in July 2005 at Messiah Truth; originally posted here 2015-03-04:
Religiosity can express any of various impulses, including these:
(1) Desire to placate the gods.
(2) Desire magically to assure desired outcomes. This is the essence of the Baal cult. Robert Jenson says it is also the essence of all religions except Christianity (:lol ).
(3) Desire to understand, and live in harmony with, the truth.
My earliest childhood memories are of a sense that there is more to the world than we perceive with our five senses, and of a desire to understand and correctly relate to that larger world. I have my moments or months of what some call doubt, of agnosticism or atheism, but in the end this thing always comes back. I feel it in my flesh and bones. This is ONE foundation of my religiosity.
After everything I’d gone through in order to catch that bus,
there was no way in hell I’d fail to do whatever it took to stay on it.
Birur nitzotzot
Related blog post: What great thing can I do?
Related blog post: What great thing, part 2
Related blog post: For us
Related essay: “Your Heart’s Desire,” by Emmet Fox
Music: Rita Coolidge, “Higher and higher”
Continue reading Podcast – Brightening the sparks
First and last, he’s a charlatan.
The Homeless Blogger 