This may seem unrealistic, even delusional; and much of the time, it has felt that way to me. But I’ve been here before, and know it’s not unrealistic at all. One drawback: it will pull me even farther away from the societal mainstream. But if I feel a “call” toward anything at all, it’s this path that I feel called to.
And seeking courage.
Religiosity can express any of various impulses, including these:
(1) Desire to placate the gods.
(2) Desire magically to assure desired outcomes. This is the essence of the Baal cult. Robert Jenson says it is also the essence of all religions except Christianity (:lol ).
(3) Desire to understand, and live in harmony with, the truth.
My earliest childhood memories are of a sense that there is more to the world than we perceive with our five senses, and of a desire to understand and correctly relate to that larger world. I have my moments or months of what some call doubt, of agnosticism or atheism, but in the end this thing always comes back. I feel it in my flesh and bones. This is ONE foundation of my religiosity.
After everything I’d gone through in order to catch that bus,
there was no way in hell I’d fail to do whatever it took to stay on it.
Music: Rita Coolidge, “Higher and higher”
What’s a nitzotz?
Nitztotz, spelled N-I-T-Z-O-T-Z, is a Hebrew word naming the “divine spark” that is at the core of every person’s being. This is a portion of God’s own being, the same stuff God’s composed of. One can call it the Life Force; the brighter it is, the happier and healthier the person is, and the more inclined she or he is to do good things.
You can tell when someone has a very bright spark; they shine. What one’s actually seeing at that time is the person’s aura, which gets brighter along with the spark itself.
When you’re in high spirits, your spark is bright.
So, what sorts of things are prone to lift your spirits?
I don’t know what it is with me and roses, but every time I see or smell a rose, and I mean ANY time, I’m prone to feel my spirits lift.
The same goes with seeing a pretty female, no matter how impossible it might be to hope for romance.
If someone smiles at me, first of all, I’m prone to smile back — and feel better. On the other hand, I’m prone to smile, myself, and smile at other people, and so lift their spirits, or brighten their sparks. This is typical of, and key to, what I now mean to do as Mildew — I’ll explain all that after the break.
Which we may as well do now.
What Mildew will do.
“Mildew” is a code name I use for William Tell, so that his enemies won’t know I’m thinking or writing about him. The full name is Philip Mildew, a take-off on the name of the fictional detective, Philip Marlowe.
A couple weeks before the election, I began praying for the nation. This has never before been normal for me.
After the election, I was praying day after day for insight as to my career, or my whole direction in life. What is it that I really want? or CAN really want? It came to me that I’d really like to see all Americans with brighter auras. Happier and healthier. Less prone to strife, BECAUSE they are happier. Better off, no matter what their material circumstances, BECAUSE they are happier. This is a vision I can really, really want, something that will bring me untold joy. I can be happy wanting it; I can be happy seeing it.
There’s a very unusual dynamic here, that wanting it, and having it, are the same thing. To want it, is to have it. I will visualize all Americans as having brighter auras; and if I happen to meet an American whose aura is dark, I will visualize that person as being surrounded by bright light anyway. All by itself, this is prone to resonate to her or his nitzotz, his or her spark, and make it brighter. I can’t lose.
And yet somehow I’m having a real hard time composing this episode. It’s a different way of seeing the world, with many unknowns.
One unknown is what this all means for The William Tell Show, the call-in, two-way radio talk show that’s been my ambition for years. I have wanted it to be a Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood for adults; that will lift folks’ spirits; that becomes front and center now. Teaching things may become less important. But I know that, just the way I am, the ways I interact with people normally, are prone to lift their spirits, prone to resonate to the spark they already have in them, and amplify the spark, make it brighter. People who follow the teachings set forth in my little book, Free Speech Handbook, will be happier than people who don’t. And I can share about my whole approach to life, which may make it easier for people to be happier, than otherwise.
My new worldview has not yet been tested. For example, although I am safe in many places other people aren’t, there may still be places I won’t go. I’ve specifically remarked some such places in previous blog posts, where even at noon on a sunny day, the spiritual darkness is palpable. One such place is Penn-North. Another is the block on Gay Street, from Fallsway on the south to Orleans Street on the north, by the Juvenile Justice Center. When I used to stay at the hotel there, I walked that block many times. Somewhere along there is a carry-out with a singularly bad reputation. I have heard homeless black men talk about it before, and I wanted to ask them, “So why do you go there?”
Literally and figuratively, there may be better places to go. Seeing all Americans happier, may be the best place I can go.
First and last, he’s a charlatan.
Not everyone is cut out
to work with the scum of the earth.
No bona fide clairvoyant known to me sells products.
All my life, I’ve been fascinated with things that glow in the dark. Where does the light come from? This is now fundamental to my understanding of prayer, and of my vocation.
The picture shows what I take for the latest advance in the world of fluorescent materials. Here are germanium nanoparticles in a colorless colloidal (gelatinous) suspension, being irradiated by ultraviolet light. By virtue merely of where they are and what they are, the invisible light that shines on these particles is changed into visible light.
The nanoparticles catalyze that process: they do no work of their own, expend no energies of their own, and take no active part in the process; but it won’t occur without them.
Continue reading Prayer primer
(1) Clairvoyance isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
(2) It’s a mistake to ASSUME what sort of healing someone wants.