“Where do you get that living water?”
This may seem unrealistic, even delusional; and much of the time, it has felt that way to me. But I’ve been here before, and know it’s not unrealistic at all. One drawback: it will pull me even farther away from the societal mainstream. But if I feel a “call” toward anything at all, it’s this path that I feel called to.
Music: Rita Coolidge, “Higher and higher”
What’s a nitzotz?
Nitztotz, spelled N-I-T-Z-O-T-Z, is a Hebrew word naming the “divine spark” that is at the core of every person’s being. This is a portion of God’s own being, the same stuff God’s composed of. One can call it the Life Force; the brighter it is, the happier and healthier the person is, and the more inclined she or he is to do good things.
You can tell when someone has a very bright spark; they shine. What one’s actually seeing at that time is the person’s aura, which gets brighter along with the spark itself.
When you’re in high spirits, your spark is bright.
So, what sorts of things are prone to lift your spirits?
I don’t know what it is with me and roses, but every time I see or smell a rose, and I mean ANY time, I’m prone to feel my spirits lift.
The same goes with seeing a pretty female, no matter how impossible it might be to hope for romance.
If someone smiles at me, first of all, I’m prone to smile back — and feel better. On the other hand, I’m prone to smile, myself, and smile at other people, and so lift their spirits, or brighten their sparks. This is typical of, and key to, what I now mean to do as Mildew — I’ll explain all that after the break.
Which we may as well do now.
What Mildew will do.
“Mildew” is a code name I use for William Tell, so that his enemies won’t know I’m thinking or writing about him. The full name is Philip Mildew, a take-off on the name of the fictional detective, Philip Marlowe.
A couple weeks before the election, I began praying for the nation. This has never before been normal for me.
After the election, I was praying day after day for insight as to my career, or my whole direction in life. What is it that I really want? or CAN really want? It came to me that I’d really like to see all Americans with brighter auras. Happier and healthier. Less prone to strife, BECAUSE they are happier. Better off, no matter what their material circumstances, BECAUSE they are happier. This is a vision I can really, really want, something that will bring me untold joy. I can be happy wanting it; I can be happy seeing it.
There’s a very unusual dynamic here, that wanting it, and having it, are the same thing. To want it, is to have it. I will visualize all Americans as having brighter auras; and if I happen to meet an American whose aura is dark, I will visualize that person as being surrounded by bright light anyway. All by itself, this is prone to resonate to her or his nitzotz, his or her spark, and make it brighter. I can’t lose.
And yet somehow I’m having a real hard time composing this episode. It’s a different way of seeing the world, with many unknowns.
One unknown is what this all means for The William Tell Show, the call-in, two-way radio talk show that’s been my ambition for years. I have wanted it to be a Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood for adults; that will lift folks’ spirits; that becomes front and center now. Teaching things may become less important. But I know that, just the way I am, the ways I interact with people normally, are prone to lift their spirits, prone to resonate to the spark they already have in them, and amplify the spark, make it brighter. People who follow the teachings set forth in my little book, Free Speech Handbook, will be happier than people who don’t. And I can share about my whole approach to life, which may make it easier for people to be happier, than otherwise.
My new worldview has not yet been tested. For example, although I am safe in many places other people aren’t, there may still be places I won’t go. I’ve specifically remarked some such places in previous blog posts, where even at noon on a sunny day, the spiritual darkness is palpable. One such place is Penn-North. Another is the block on Gay Street, from Fallsway on the south to Orleans Street on the north, by the Juvenile Justice Center. When I used to stay at the hotel there, I walked that block many times. Somewhere along there is a carry-out with a singularly bad reputation. I have heard homeless black men talk about it before, and I wanted to ask them, “So why do you go there?”
Literally and figuratively, there may be better places to go. Seeing all Americans happier, may be the best place I can go.
First and last, he’s a charlatan.
For we did not follow cleverly devised myths when we made known to you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we had been eyewitnesses of his majesty. — 2 Peter 1:16
Continue reading Farrakhan footnote
Here is a short list of things I can be grateful for.
|✓||A clean sheet every night*|
|✓||A clean pillow case every night*|
|✓||A blanket every night*|
|✓||A pillow every night*|
|✓||A hot shower every night|
|✓||Clean clothes available every day|
|✓||A good supper every night|
|✓||Financial resources: At this time, anything I want, I can get.
(Anything I can’t get, I don’t want.)
|✓||Moral support from my family, my friends and my church. A ton of people are pulling for me, hoping for my prosperity.|
|✓||The best problems in the world. (See next Wednesday’s post.)|
*(To my knowledge, no other shelter in Baltimore City provides these things. If you don’t bring your own, you sleep on a bare mat. A change in that situation is something to earnestly hope for.)
Originally posted Christmas Eve 2014.
Ambivalence about The William Tell Show.
Is The William Tell Show a great thing I can do?
Continue reading What great thing, part 2
Self-management is paramount.
It also takes work.
The appointed Gospel text for Sunday was Matthew’s Parable of the Wedding Banquet, Matthew 22:1-14.
I was struck by verses 11-14 —
11“But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing a wedding robe, 12and he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding robe?’ And he was speechless. 13Then the king said to the attendants, ‘Bind him hand and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ 14For many are called, but few are chosen.”
— in that, last Tuesday at McDonald’s, I’m the one who got thrown into the outer darkness.
Continue reading Life in the outer darkness