Where does it hurt?
That may not be where the problem is.
For about two years, while I was in college, I was a rabid bigot against Jews.
When I hang out at Dunkin’ Donuts in the morning, I have a prescribed spot, in a corner, by the door.
This morning this woman came in scowling. She was deeply resentful about something. Once she got her order and began to head out, it became clear that the something had changed. Whatever she’d been resentful about before was no matter; what she resented now was my skin color.
Transference is the removal of emotions, normally negative, from connection with one idea or situation, and attaching the same to a different idea or situation. This incident this morning was an epiphany for me of how easily it happens, and how evil it can be.