Category Archives: Motivations

My prayer for myself today

February 27, 2017Get on your feet, Job search/Job prospects, Motivations, UncategorizedChaos, Chaos and order, Delaying gratification, Diligence, Efficacy, Opportunism, Prayer, PredationWilliam Tell

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Sunday 2017-02-26

My prayer for myself today was that I “come into a world where my diligence will be rewarded.” A related new concept, as far as the blog is concerned: efficacy — the feeling or sense that one can accomplish something. In question is whether I perceive my world that way now.

It is notable that a background of chaos militates against efficacy, and normally teaches that diligence will not be rewarded, except as it’s expressed in opportunism and predation (See “Can’t resist temptation? …” below.) A background of, or perceptions of, order, in contrast, teach the exact opposites.

Related future posts (The links won’t work until the posts appear.):
– About Edgar Cayce’s dream
– Perceptions of order

Related previous post:
– Chaos overwhelms the poor
Also related:
– Can’t resist temptation? That may not be a bad thing

Job search

February 8, 2017Job search/Job prospects, MotivationsWilliam Tell

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New start, new motivations, new market sectors, new strategies, new tactics.

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Treasures in heaven

January 19, 2017Homelessness, Jacob's Ladder, Motivations, PovertyBible, Homeless, Prayer, The Homeless Blogger, Treasures in heavenWilliam Tell

(Originally published 07/01/13 at Trojan Horse Productions. Republished here 10/30/13.)

One of my buds came into McDonald’s this morning looking for me. I’d not seen him in about a week. He’s in really good shape today, but it turns out that, as I’d supposed, he’d been on a bender.

We went out front to smoke and talk, and the time came for him to get on his way. I expected him to turn to go back upstairs to get his stuff. He did not. “Where’s your stuff?” I asked.

He’d lost it. Again. Everything. Kept only his I.D. and Independence card. Somewhere, sometime, while blacked out, he’d got up and left wherever he’d been, leaving behind all his belongings in a forgotten place.

In my immediately last prior post, “Me, me, me,” I said:

It’s not that I despised material possessions; I did not value them nearly as much as I (overwhelmingly) valued relationships. What I did despise was the desire for material possessions. As a result, now I have none.

Relationships are what I do have. They are my treasures in heaven.
on air talent, talk show host, radio talk show, the homeless blogger

Me, Me, Me

January 12, 2017Dependency, Get on your feet, Homelessness, Motivations, Poverty, SqualorAddiction, Choosing feelings, Crime, Infantilism, Physics, Prayer, Selfishness, Yin-YangWilliam Tell

(Originally published 06/06/13 at Trojan Horse Productions. Republished here 10/30/13.)

This has been a very heavy day, and there’s a lot here. For the moment, at least, I will not try to organize this.

Darkness at times appears to serve Light; destruction, to serve creation.

It is a rude awakening for me to have to revisit the world of infantile self-centeredness, apparently to have to re-learn correctly this time (at age 57!) some things I didn’t learn correctly on the first go-round.

A world where it is correct for me to want things only for “Me, me, me!”
Continue reading Me, Me, Me →

Dilemma

January 11, 2017Get on your feet, Homelessness, Job search/Job prospects, Motivations, Poverty, The Way of PeaceHealing, Infantilism, Jesus, Need, Neediness, Outer darkness, Prayer, Self-love, Stewardship, Your Heart's DesireWilliam Tell

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In a comment on a WaPo article about “Prosperity Gospel” televangelists, someone said:

Jesus taught us to think of others needs before our own.

As of now I dispute that Jesus taught that.

If he did teach that, Jesus was wrong.
Continue reading Dilemma →

I really have nothing better to do

December 22, 2016Audition files, Career goals, Motivations, OUR BEST POSTS, The Way of Peacedollar store, Evangelism, On air talent, Peacemaking, Radio talk show, Shalom, Talk show host, The Homeless Blogger, The Way of Peace, VocationWilliam Tell

(Originally posted 10/12/13.)

(Transcribed from a letter to my mother dated 25 September 2007.)

This conversation yesterday with a co-worker astonished me.

“Peaches” is a 42-year old, very short woman, certainly a grandmother and very likely great-grandmother, who has about half her teeth. She works principally as a cashier, and is a really good worker and co-worker. She constantly teases me by pretending to flirt with me.

I was stocking the trash bags shelves, and became aware that she was in quite a pickle. Her shift was over, and she had appointments she had to keep at a certain time across town; but she also had assembled this bag full of items she needed to buy at once and before leaving the store. And the line at the cash register was quite long. (Long lines at cash register are a constant, intractable problem at this store.)

I told her facetiously, “Just go down there and push ’em all out.” She said, “No, that would be unmannerly, and that’s not like me.” (Conduct that can be called “unmannerly” is a big, big issue in this community, and a big issue for me personally since I see so much of it and find it offensive.) She went on: “Now, I like your manners. You speak to the customers …”
Continue reading I really have nothing better to do →

* Changing what I want

November 12, 2016Get on your feet, Homelessness, Job search/Job prospects, Motivations, OUR BEST POSTS, The Way of PeaceChoosing desires, Choosing feelings, Choosing thoughts, Disappointment, Discipline, First things first, Free will, Self-love, Wants vs. needsWilliam Tell

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Last week I was turned away from the shelter three times: Sunday night, Wednesday night and Thursday night.

Under current conditions, to be sure I get a bunk, I must show up no later than 14:15. It’s not just a matter of being on time, but of getting near the front of the line. And that’s iffy in itself, given that there’s always a bum rush when the gate opens at 14:30.

Accordingly, I must wrap up my activities at church at 13:30 and leave out no later than 13:45. But the way my day goes, it’s normally 13:00 before I have opportunity to do anything for job search. That leaves me half an hour. Can’t do much in half an hour. It’s been a daily disappointment that I don’t even get off the e-mail to J___ M___, my contact at S&K.

What I want ain’t getting done. May be time to change what I want — Continue reading * Changing what I want →

* Must I work for Rent-a-Bum?

September 8, 2016Homelessness, Job search/Job prospects, Motivations, OUR BEST POSTS, SqualorAgenices, Employment, Homeless, Rent-a-Bum, Temp agencies, Temporary, The Homeless BloggerWilliam Tell

(Originally published 08/11/12 at Trojan Horse Productions; reblogged 10/30/13 here.)

If you go into a men’s room and see that someone’s taken his backpack and perhaps suitcase with him into the stall, you can conclude two things: (1) He’s homeless. (2) In his world, squalor is so intense he can’t leave his bags anywhere, or things will be stolen.

All kinds of people steal from the homeless.

They’ll steal your socks. It may only be a pair of socks, but if it’s your only pair of socks, it really hurts.

I stood smoking outside Dunkin’ Donuts and this man came up to talk. He was looking pretty rough. Walked on crutches, and one bare foot. He told me he’d spent the night outside, and while he slept, someone stole one shoe.

One of the few shreds of dignity left to me is that I don’t have to take my bags with me into the bathroom stall. At Dunkin’ Donuts or Lenny’s or the library, I leave my bags in a certain place and they’re all still there when I return. At the shelter, I stash my bags under the bunk, and no one disturbs them. I do lock the bag that has my phone, my cash and my prescriptions (link).

———— ♦ ————

I knew I was likely to become homeless months before it actually happened. I had contacts with the City’s Office of Homeless Services and obtained a list of shelters Continue reading * Must I work for Rent-a-Bum? →

* Paying my dues, singing the blues?

September 1, 2016Career goals, Get on your feet, Homelessness, Motivations, OUR BEST POSTS, Poverty, Yahoo! VoicesNitzotz, Presence, Your Heart's DesireWilliam Tell

Courage and despair hang in the balance for a homeless radio talk jock wannabe.

“You’ve got to pay your dues
If you want to sing the blues,
And you know, it don’t come easy.”
— Ringo Starr, “It Don’t Come Easy”

Many years ago, when I first conceived the ambition to become a radio talk show host, I quickly selected that song as virtually a theme for my show. Life is difficult. My heart’s desire was to equip people to face life’s difficulties head-on.

My life circumstances were far more comfortable at that time than they have become since. Now I’m asking myself if I’m paying my dues; if I can sing the blues; and whether I myself will face life’s difficulties head-on.
Continue reading * Paying my dues, singing the blues? →