Prayer for myself often takes the form of imagining myself climbing up a ladder out of a pit, the pit being my current circumstances of poverty and homelessness. Getting out at the top represents a return to the normal life of the American mainstream. I didn’t start with a ladder in there, but I decided to add one to symbolize the various structures and tools that others have made available to me — and eliminate the possibility of clawing at loose earth.
Here begins a list of “rungs” on the ladder that I’ve become aware I need to “overcome.” Each one takes effort, exertion, to get over. I will update this list from time to time as I learn of others.
|1.||Fear of the unknown. See From my diary: Learning to pray.|
|2.||Jealousy of others who seem to be prospering more quickly than I am. Details here.|
|3.||Times of despair. I guess, from time to time, they’ll happen. Details here.|
|4.||Incidents of utter selfishness. Details here.|
|5.||Moments of unusual hardship and sacrifice. Details here.|
|6.||Cut loose the losers. Details here.|
|7.||Smoking. See posts tagged “Smoking”.|
|8.||Shame. See “(3) Baby steps.”|
|9.||Attributions of arrogance, selfishness and greed. Details here.|
|10.||Others’ well-intentioned but misguided prayers. Details here.|