Momentous idleness


Saturday, April 14, 2018

Sometimes, the most momentous events are most easily forgotten.

This morning on my walk from the hotel to church, I was puzzling over how it is some folk just do not believe in responsibility.  With its correlates of honesty, truth-telling and personal power.  (There is no power without responsibility.)  I may never come to understand; some people are in “places” where I may not be able, or may be unwilling, to go; and I may be best to just accept that that may be the case.

How can they be enamored of chaos?  How can they seek a world without accountability?  Yet, in their world, there is accountability: everyone’s accountable to whatever predator is at the top of the food chain; and they esteem that person:

U respect the one who got shot
I respect the shooter.
— JayZ, “Thirtysomething”

I said, “Why am I thinking about this?  Shouldn’t I be thinking about getting my own place?”

  • I’ve spent so much time focused on poverty and its causes that I became very poor.  If I’m to become upwardly mobile, I need to think about upward mobility.

But I can only think about getting my own place for so long.  I did, and then turned my attention to the here and now as I walked; this car, that lamppost, the traffic light.

As I continued this, I thought about my current theory of courage.  The current draft of “Ownership of power” consists of one sentence:  “It’s hard to believe it can be so simple.”

My next memory is of being in the church kitchen, preparing the next pot of coffee.  I came to focus on the here-and-now: the basket in my hand, the coffee filters in the basket, the coffee grounds in the filter, and my intention to take them to the coffee station.  I recalled the mission to present my best self every moment; this moment; and it came to me that this may be enough.  This may be all I need to attend to, from moment to moment, in life.  Everything elsewhere, or past or future, let go.  And it seemed right.

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